The Idol of Respect - Part Two

The Idol of Respect - Part Two

Esther 3

Two weeks ago we started considering the idol of respect. We were in Ester chapter 1 and we read about the 6 month celebration King Ahasereus threw in honor of himself and saw a perfect example of someone who longed for acknowledgement because of his stature and accomplishments. For six months he displayed “the riches of his royal glory and the splendor of his great majesty.” The idolatry of this is seen in that the Bible teaches that we are to “Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.” Prov. 27:2 In 2 Cor. 10:18 we read, “For not he who commends himself is approved, but whom the Lord commends.” In 2 Co 10:12 we read, “For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”

Well, everyone in the kingdom was highly impressed with who he was and everything he had accomplished, except for his wife. And when she thumbed her nose at him he responded sinfully by banishing her. And that response is what lets us know an idol was being worshipped. What are the two questions that indicate the presence of an idol? “Do I sin to get what I want,” and “Do I sin when I don’t get what I want?” When he didn’t get the respect he wanted from his wife, instead of dealing with her disrespect in a godly way, he simply banished her.

We then spent some time considering the scriptural principle that is violated each time we worship at the idol of respect, and that principle has to do with a biblical understanding of man. Mankind really isn’t very significant in the big scheme of things, and when we long for, or demand acknowledgement for something we have accomplished or achieved, we are elevating ourselves beyond the biblical boundaries. Even though man is the pinnacle of God’s creative power, and even though he has an eternal soul that God has provided salvation for, in the big scheme of things, man isn’t very significant! This why we David says in Ps. 8, “When I consider Thy heavens, the work of Thy fingers, The moon and the stars, which Thou hast ordained; What is man, that Thou dost take thought of him? And the son of man, that Thou dost care for him?”

Now this week as I was thinking about this idol, another example from the book of Esther came to mind, so I want us to look at chapter three. As we read through this, I want you to put a mark by each instance of the idol of respect you see. How does Haman demand and long for acknowledgement of what he has accomplished and become?

After these events King Ahasuerus promoted Haman, the son of Hammedatha the Agagite, and advanced him and established his authority over all the princes who were with him. 2 And all the king's servants who were at the king's gate bowed down and paid homage to Haman; for so the king had commanded concerning him. But Mordecai neither bowed down nor paid homage.3 Then the king's servants who were at the king's gate said to Mordecai, "Why are you transgressing the king's command?" 4 Now it was when they had spoken daily to him and he would not listen to them, that they told Haman to see whether Mordecai's reason would stand; for he had told them that he was a Jew. 5 When Haman saw that Mordecai neither bowed down nor paid homage to him, Haman was filled with rage. 6 But he disdained to lay hands on Mordecai alone, for they had told him who the people of Mordecai were; therefore Haman sought to destroy all the Jews, the people of Mordecai, who were throughout the whole kingdom of Ahasuerus. 7 In the first month, which is the month Nisan, in the twelfth year of King Ahasuerus, Pur, that is the lot, was cast before Haman from day to day and from month to month, until the twelfth month, that is the month Adar. 8 Then Haman said to King Ahasuerus, "There is a certain people scattered and dispersed among the peoples in all the provinces of your kingdom; their laws are different from those of all other people, and they do not observe the king's laws, so it is not in the king's interest to let them remain. 9 "If it is pleasing to the king, let it be decreed that they be destroyed, and I will pay ten thousand talents of silver into the hands of those who carry on the king's business, to put into the king's treasuries." 10 Then the king took his signet ring from his hand and gave it to Haman, the son of Hammedatha the Agagite, the enemy of the Jews.

Where in this chapter do you see the idol of respect being demonstrated first? In verse five. When Haman saw that Mordecai neither bowed down nor paid homage to him, Haman was filled with rage. Here is a clue. Any time you become filled with rage over a personal affront, you are worshipping an idol! He responded sinfully when he didn’t get want he wanted. It is a sinful response to not getting something you want.

Where else do we see the idol of respect? Right. In verse six. He wasn’t content to punish Mordecai alone, was he? He wanted to “destroy all the Jews, the people of Mordecai.” Here is another clue. Any time you move beyond legitimate discipline / punishment (Mordecai was disobeying the King) and into excessive retaliation, you are worshipping an idol. Haman responded sinfully when he didn’t get what he wanted.
Any other indicators of idol worship?

How about verse eight when he deceives the king by telling Ahaseresus that by killing all the Jews, it would be in the “kings interest?” Was Haman really interested in protecting the King’s interests? Not at all. He was sinning to get what he wanted. And as you read through the rest of the book Esther, you see two more principle about idols of the heart coming into play, and that has to do with 1) how idols never satisfy, and 2) with how God deals with idolatry. Look with me over at chapter five.

Now it came about on the third day that Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the king's palace in front of the king's rooms, and the king was sitting on his royal throne in the throne room, opposite the entrance to the palace. 2 And it happened when the king saw Esther the queen standing in the court, she obtained favor in his sight; and the king extended to Esther the golden scepter which was in his hand. So Esther came near and touched the top of the scepter. 3 Then the king said to her, "What is troubling you, Queen Esther? And what is your request? Even to half of the kingdom it will be given to you." 4 And Esther said, "If it please the king, may the king and Haman come this day to the banquet that I have prepared for him." 5 Then the king said, "Bring Haman quickly that we may do as Esther desires." So the king and Haman came to the banquet which Esther had prepared. 6 And, as they drank their wine at the banquet, the king said to Esther, "What is your petition, for it shall be granted to you. And what is your request? Even to half of the kingdom it shall be done." 7 So Esther answered and said, "My petition and my request is: 8 if I have found favor in the sight of the king, and if it please the king to grant my petition and do what I request, may the king and Haman come to the banquet which I shall prepare for them, and tomorrow I will do as the king says." 9 Then Haman went out that day glad and pleased of heart; but when Haman saw Mordecai in the king's gate, and that he did not stand up or tremble before him, Haman was filled with anger against Mordecai. 10 Haman controlled himself, however, went to his house, and sent for his friends and his wife Zeresh.
11 Then Haman recounted to them the glory of his riches, and the number of his sons, and every instance where the king had magnified him, and how he had promoted him above the princes and servants of the king. 12 Haman also said, "Even Esther the queen let no one but me come with the king to the banquet which she had prepared; and tomorrow also I am invited by her with the king. 13 "Yet all of this does not satisfy me every time I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the king's gate."

Isn’t there something pathetic about verses 10 - 12? How did Haman deal with Mordecai’s disrespect? By forcing his poor family to listen to his list of accomplishments. Don’t you want to gag after about the fourth time someone makes you listen to their list of accomplishments? Can’t you almost see Haman’s family rolling their eyes and saying to themselves, “Here he goes again.” I wonder how many times they had heard this self-congratulatory list? But the principle this is illustrating is that idols never satisfy, as we see in verse 13. All his riches, and all his sons, and all his accomplishments, and all the king’s favor, and all the Queens’s attention were meaningless because Mordecai wouldn’t show him respect. Idols never satisfy.

And finally, we see God dealing very strongly with Haman’s idol in chapter six.

During that night the king could not sleep so he gave an order to bring the book of records, the chronicles, and they were read before the king. 2 And it was found written what Mordecai had reported concerning Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king's eunuchs who were doorkeepers, that they had sought to lay hands on King Ahasuerus. 3 And the king said, "What honor or dignity has been bestowed on Mordecai for this?" Then the king's servants who attended him said, "Nothing has been done for him." 4 So the king said, "Who is in the court?" Now Haman had just entered the outer court of the king's palace in order to speak to the king about hanging Mordecai on the gallows which he had prepared for him. 5 And the king's servants said to him, "Behold, Haman is standing in the court." And the king said, "Let him come in." 6 So Haman came in and the king said to him, "What is to be done for the man whom the king desires to honor?" And Haman said to himself, "Whom would the king desire to honor more than me?" 7 Then Haman said to the king, "For the man whom the king desires to honor, 8 let them bring a royal robe which the king has worn, and the horse on which the king has ridden, and on whose head a royal crown has been placed; 9 and let the robe and the horse be handed over to one of the king's most noble princes and let them array the man whom the king desires to honor and lead him on horseback through the city square, and proclaim before him, 'Thus it shall be done to the man whom the king desires to honor.'" 10 Then the king said to Haman, "Take quickly the robes and the horse as you have said, and do so for Mordecai the Jew, who is sitting at the king's gate; do not fall short in anything of all that you have said." 11 So Haman took the robe and the horse, and arrayed Mordecai, and led him on horseback through the city square, and proclaimed before him, "Thus it shall be done to the man whom the king desires to honor." 12 Then Mordecai returned to the king's gate. But Haman hurried home, mourning, with his head covered.

God has a way of dealing strongly with our idols. This is why it behooves us to deal with them first. Haman’s was respect, and God publicly humbled him. I read recently about a church youth group that was filming a documentary about teenage runaways, and tragically, many girls who run away from home end up in prostitution. So as they were filming, they had one of the girls from the youth group pose as a prostitute, and while they were filming, one of the deacons of the church pulled up to her and propositioned her! And it was caught on video. God has a way of dealing with idols! Remember Rachel. “Give me children, else I die,” and she died in childbirth. “Mordecai won’t respect me,” and Haman ends up publicly leading Mordecai through the streets of the town honoring and honoring him.

Practical Application:

There are two special categories of people who need to exercise extra diligence in this matter of the idol of respect. First of all, if you are a man, this is a special weakness you are prone to. God has created men in such a way that by nature he is oriented toward accomplishment. Men like tasks. Men thrive when given something to conquer. This was established in the Garden of Eden and is fleshed out in the doctrine of vocation. And consequently, men like to be acknowledged when the task is completed. Cf. me bringing Nancy out to the wood pile after 7 hours of hard work. This is why the Bible teaches, “Wives, see to it that you respect your husbands.” When a man doesn’t get the acknowledgement he believes he deserves for something he has accomplished or become, bad things tend to happen if he doesn’t exercise special diligence against worshipping at the idol of respect. So the warning here is for men, because men have a tendency to worship the idol of respect.

Secondly, to all my fellow parents, we have a tendency toward this idol in regard to our children. Here’s what I mean. Children, whether we like it or not, are a reflection on their parents – for both good and bad. We don’t like this or think it is fair, but that is just the way it is. Our children reflect on us. Why do our hearts swell with pride when our child scores the winning goal in the soccer game? Because he is a part of me. I am somehow and to some degree a part of his accomplishment. At the same time, when my child does something really foolish or embarrassing, I share in his shame. Why? Because he is a reflection of and on me.
We see this phenomenon in the spiritual realm in the name “Christian.” In many cultures, the suffix “ian” means “son of.” I had a professor in college whose last name was Panosian. In his Armenian culture, his name meant “Son of Panos.” We see this in other ways like the term “Freudian.” That is the label we attach to a follower of Sigmund Freud. The Smithsonian Institute was named after James Smithson. So as Christians, or “Christ-ians,” we are sons of Christ, or followers of Christ. And our behavior as sons of Christ reflects on Jesus for either good or bad. When we behave well, it reflects well on Jesus. The term we use to describe this is that God is “glorified.” People’s estimation of Jesus goes up. When we behave badly, it reflects poorly on Jesus. How many of you have ever heart the derisive statement, “And he calls himself a Christian?” The world recognizes the disjunction in our lives when we don’t live like Christians. This dynamic is true in the human family as well.

Now, every parent wants to see his child succeed. Why? Primarily, it is because we want the best for our children, but down deep, and here is where we get to the idol level, we like our children to succeed because it reflects well on us as parents! Ted Tripp talks about this in his book on parenting teenagers (Age of Opportunity) and says that as parents, we tend to want to display our children as trophies on the mantle above the fireplace. Why? Because it reflects well on us. Another way we could put it is that parents have a tendency to long for their good parenting to be acknowledged, and the easiest way to get that is through well-behaved, successful children.

Here is the $64,000.00 question. How do you respond when your child blows it big time? Your response reveals the presence or absence of an idol. How do you respond when your son steals a car and goes for a joy ride with a friend, and in the course of the hot rodding, he wrecks the car and his best friend is killed? If your initial response to that scenario is on how it makes you look as the parent, you are worshipping the idol of respect. If your primary concern in this tragedy is that people are going to think less of you because of your son’s behavior, that is an idolatrous response. If your primary concern is that your status in the church is going to go down, that is an idolatrous response. As parents we tend to long for our parenting to be acknowledged, and now, look what he has done. So parents, we have to exercise special diligence in this area.

So what are some current illustrations of the idol of respect? Several weeks ago I shared with you the case of Dr. Amy Bishop, the scientist at the University of Alabama who shot and killed three colleagues when she was denied tenure yet another time. What was she after? Respect. She longed for her stature as a Harvard Ph. D. to be acknowledged. This is why when she attacked another woman in a restaurant for taking the last high chair, she repeatedly said, “I am Dr. Amy Bishop.” She didn’t say, “I was here first,” or “my child is smaller than your child and needs it more.” Just, “I am Dr. Amy Bishop.”

How else do we see the idol of respect demonstrated in real life? Here are some typical expressions:

 When an employee inflates his accomplishments on his resume
 When a student plagiarizes
 When a person dominates every conversation
 When a soloist will not sing on a Sunday morning if there is any other soloist singing
 When a member of a committee brings an idea to the table and the rest of the committee rejects it, so he resigns from the committee – could also be the idol of appreciation
 The three people in the counseling seminar who answer every rhetorical question, illustrate the teacher’s points, and feel compelled to elaborate on any subject that comes up
 When a wife gives her husband the silent treatment because he doesn’t acknowledge her sacrificial service to the family, or forgets a “special day”
 When a pastor gets up and announces the title of his message as, “An Investigation of the Hegelian Concept of Anthrocentrism Contrasted with the Augustinian System of Pre-Byzantine Anthropomorphism as Demonstrated by Paul in His Prison Epistles”

Conclusion: The idol of respect is an idol that is quite prevalent in Christian circles. Men have to be very careful, parents have to be very careful, people involved in ministry in the church have to be very careful. We need to remember that God is the source of everything we are and He is the One who has enabled us to achieve anything we have accomplished. As such, He is the one who should get the acknowledgment, not us. And when we don’t get the acknowledgement we want or even may deserve, we need to be very careful how we respond.

Let’s continue to be in prayer as a congregation as we follow this path. Let’s deal with the idols God reveals to us so we can come before Him with undivided allegiance.