Father's Day Thoughts

Father’s Day Thoughts

How many of you men celebrated “National Man Day” last week? For those of you who were not aware of it, it apparently took place last Tuesday. To participate in it, one was supposed to “stand up and do manly things.” Things like watching Rocky movies, sitting in your favorite chair and scratching yourself, and blowing things up, or shooting an animal. You are supposed to ignore the salad bar and light salad dressings, and instead, order the 20 oz. steak. More than a few people followed this on Facebook, in fact over 250,000 guys signed on in support of it.

Last year on Father’s Day I shared with you that manhood has fallen on hard times in our culture. There is obviously a lot of ignorance about what being a man is all about. For many, being a man is all about muscles, or procreative ability, or stoic indifference. The popular media portrays men as bumbling dolts. And as I analyze the list of things to do for National Man’s Day, there is a new layer of opprobrium being spread on men and now we see that an expression of manhood is to focus primarily on the gratification of a personal desire. Now, in fairness to the two brothers who started this I will say that they eventually they started advocating bringing flowers to you wife and being an honest and God fearing man, but after scattering these crumbs to their critics, all the ways to celebrate National Man Day were very self oriented.

As I think in general terms about what the Bible teaches about manhood, I see that a man is characterized primarily by self-denial, not self-gratification. A real man, a biblical man does the right thing in every situation, and I have learned that doing the right thing is almost never the easy thing. In fact, you could almost say that whenever you are faced with a choice where one course of action is hard and the other one is easy, the easy course of action is almost always going to be the wrong thing to do. Biblical manhood is all about doing the right thing.

What I want to share with you men this morning is three things that it is right for you to do. It is right for a man to provide for his family. It is right for a man to protect his family. And it is right for a man to shepherd his family. Turn with me to 1 Tim. 5:8 and we will see the first point.

I. It Is Right For A Man To Provide For His Family – 1 Tim. 5:8

In 1 Tim. 5:8 Paul tells us that “if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever.” What is Paul after here? Obviously, I think we can make the assumption that he is talking about the physical provision that a man is supposed to make for his wife and children. In the immediate context, Paul is telling the church how to provide for the physical needs of widows, and then we come to this verse. So it is pretty clear to me that as man, I have a biblical responsibility to provide for my family.

It is the husband’s responsibility, before God, to bring home the bacon, not the wife’s. This is why I have a problem with “stay at home dad’s.” I knew a guy who stayed at home and raised the four children while his wife went off to work every day. She was glad to do this because she was very capable and could earn more money than her husband could. But that kind of a setup results in a role reversal in the home which always carries with it bad consequences. God gave Adam the job of tending the garden, and then He created Eve to help him out. Adam was the provider, Eve was the helper. That act of creation set the model for all time, and here in 1 Tim. 5:8, we have Paul affirming this setup.

But there is more going on in this verse than simply a command for men to be in the work force and bring home a paycheck every week. “Providing” for your family involves much more than giving them food, clothing, and shelter. The word Paul uses that is translated as “provide” literally means to “think in advance.” It has the idea of “foresight.” A man who is going to provide for his family has to have the ability to look down the road and see what is coming, and then get his family ready for it.

There are many ways we could make application here, but I want to focus on one in particular. Men, you need to be actively involved in the training and raising of your children. Do not make the mistake of thinking that just because you work hard and bring home enough money to pay the bills that you have fulfilled the biblical command to provide for your family – because that activity is just the beginning of your responsibility to provide.

I was speaking recently with a young man that had been married for several years, and he and his wife had a couple of children. That got us into a conversation about child rearing, so I told him about a very influential book I had read that radically changed my philosophy of parenting. The book is called “Shepherding the Heart of Your Child,” and so I mentioned it to him. He interrupted me and said, “Oh yeah, I know about that book. In fact, I bought it and gave it to my wife to read.” That is the attitude I’m talking about here. Guys, providing for your family is much broader than simply financing them. So I told the guy, “Don’t buy that book for your wife to read, buy it for yourself to read!”

So as we think about what it means to be a man in the biblical sense, we see first of all that it is right to provide for your family. The second thing I want to call to our attention is that part of being a man is that it is right to protect your family. Turn with me next to Eph. 6:11-12.

II. It Is Right To Protect Your Family – Eph. 6:11-12

When we think of protecting our family, our thoughts usually immediately go to the idea of physical protection. That is legitimate and certainly biblical. We see this concept taught in Eph. five where husbands are told to love their wives just like Christ loves the church, and then Paul gives the standard to which a husband must be willing to aspire in his love – even to the point of giving his life for her, just like Christ did for the church. Because this truth is self evident, we aren’t going to spend a lot of time developing or defending it. What I want us to do instead is think about another kind of protection a man is supposed to provide for his family, and that protection is seen here in Eph. 6:11-12.

Paul lets us in on a critically important truth when he says that we are to “put on the full armor of God, that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

Men, one of the easiest things to do in life is to protect our family in the physical realm. It comes naturally to us. There is nothing that arouses the fight in a man more quickly than when his flesh and blood is threatened. But Paul tells us in this passage that our battle isn’t with flesh and blood. Did you see that? Rather, our battle is with “spiritual forces of wickedness.” Do you know what that means? It means that Satan and all his demonic forces are invisibly and insidiously (that is the significance of the phrase “heavenly places”) trying to destroy your family. And just because you can’t see him doesn’t mean he isn’t engaged in a full scale firefight with you.

Let me share with you the three venues Satan uses primarily to attack your family. The public school system, television and popular media, and the computer and other personal electronic devices. Now, I’m not saying that if you work with in a public school, or if your child attends one, that you have aligned yourself with Satan and are committed to the destruction of the Christian family. What I am saying is that the public school is a six lane super-highway bringing your adversary into your home. The television and Hollywood does the same thing, as does the computer. And part of being a biblical man involves protecting your family in these three arenas.

We don’t have time to develop this point and talk in depth about how we can protect our families in these three areas (maybe we need to have a separate session some day), but the point I want to drive home is that if you are going to be a biblical man, you are going to have to protect your home from these three insidious influences. And I will warn you again that doing the right thing is not the easy thing. It never is, but being a biblical man is all about doing the right thing.

So as we continue to think about what it means to be a biblical man, we have seen that it is right for us to provide for our family and to protect our family. Let’s finish our time together this morning by looking at the importance of being the spiritual leader of your family.

III. It Is Right To Shepherd Your Family – Eph. 5:25-27; 6:4

At the end of Eph. 5, Paul is telling men how they are to love their wives, and then he sets this amazingly high standard – we are to love our wives like “Christ loved the church.” We have already looked at the truth of loving to the point of giving our lives for their protection, but in verses 26 and 27, Paul introduces a new element to the husband – that of sanctifying your wife. “25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; 26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless.”

One of the roles Christ plays in the life of the church (all us followers of Christ) is that of sanctifier. What that means is that it is His objective to “cleanse us” (v. 26) through the use of the Bible (“the washing of water with the word” – v. 26) with the result that one day He will be able to present us to God as His holy and blameless wife who has neither “spot nor wrinkle (v. 27).” The fact that Paul elaborates on this matter of Christ sanctifying the church in the middle of his teaching on the relationship of the husband to wife is not accidental. He is telling us men that one of our responsibilities to our wives is to promote spiritual growth in their lives. That is the concept behind sanctification.

Now keep that idea in the back of your mind and look at chapter six and verse four. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” This verse is addressed to fathers, not mothers! So it is pretty obvious that Paul gives the responsibility of the spiritual instruction of the children to the father. Men, we need to lead our family in the things of God. Your wife’s spiritual growth and maturity is your responsibility. Your children’s spiritual growth and maturity is your responsibility. Part of being a biblical man is shepherding your family.

Let me give you two quick ways you can shepherd your family. First of all, set the example. Men, we need to live in a way before God that we can say to our children, “follow my example.” Don’t expect your kids to go to church if you don’t go to church. Don’t expect your kids to have a clean mouth if you have a foul mouth. Don’t expect your kids to honor their mother if you don’t honor your wife. Set the example. It’s part of being a biblical man.

Second, take the initiative. What I mean by that is your wife shouldn’t lead the family in prayer before a meal. Your wife shouldn’t be the one praying with the children before they go to bed. Your wife shouldn’t be the one getting up early on Sunday morning to get the kids ready for church while you sleep in and get up at the last minute. Men, we are the ones who should be demonstrating initiative in this matter of shepherding our families and teaching spiritual truths to our children, and our wives. Don’t delegate this responsibility to your wife.

Do you remember how I said at the beginning of the message that the right thing do is never the easy thing to do? Being a biblical man is all about doing the right thing. It is right to provide for your family. It is right to protect your family. It is right to shepherd your family. And doing each of these things is hard. I have discovered that it is never convenient to provide for my family in the biblical way. Or to protect them from our adversary, or to shepherd them in the things of God. But being a biblical man is all about doing the hard things. May God give us men the grace, the strength, and the tenacity to do what we have been called to do.